I dislike going this long between posts. Its almost two weeks! Sigh.

Ricky and I went to court last week and they wanted to know if everything was getting done. He took a drug test which he passed (more on that later) and they informed him that he should join the Explorers to finish off his eagle requirements in Boy scouts. Which I think meant that he is kicked out of the troop he has been in for five years. So much for knowing the judge.
Anyway, on the way home he was pointing to some sort of bottle in his pants pocket. I had no idea what he was doing and then he came clean and showed me a lotion bottle that had pee in it. I was furious. I asked him why he would bring that to the court house. And he told me that he needed it so he can test clean. I asked who's it was and he told me it was his brothers. I then asked him when and with who did he smoke with. He just told me that he did it the week before and he was not going to "rat" anyone out. I then calmed down and realised that my heart had broken (again). My son was no longer the innocent boy who didn't keep secrets from him mom. I then explained to him that I only want the best for him and that I love him no matter what but that I had a right to be disappointed with him. That it was my right as a mom to be able to feel disappointed. There was much more said but that was the jest of it.
He has not been out of the house since except when he had an appointment the next day for a family assessment. I was with him when the woman asked him if he had ever used drugs. I was there when he said yes. I was there when she got him to tell her who he was with and when. I was there when he had to explain to her why his test came up clean. I was there when he found out that she is making him do a 12 week group therapy session titled teen survival skills. I was there. I had to sit there and have my heart break over and over again.
This woman also saw that I was due for some one-on-one with a therapist to help with my domestic violence past. I went to my first session today. I feel good about it, I think it will help out alot. My therapist seemed to know exactly what was going on and had some great resources for me. I'm looking forward to going and getting "me" figured out.
I hope Ricky will start to see the benifits of his group too. In all due time I guess.