I need a new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My boss came in to my office and informed me that he had some bad news. He said he is going to have to cut my hours again cause we are so slow. So he tells me that he wants me to come in from 11:30 to 4pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays...(I hear crickets) and he says thats it. I ask when do I start doing that and he says well today is Thursday so I'll see you on Tuesday.

Thank you!

No really I mean this is so much better than letting me go. It has not hit me yet but I'm sure later I will be a blubbering mess. I mean, rent is due in one week and I was hoping to take my vacation pay to pay it. But now he says that that may not be available for me.

FUCK!

What am I to do now...I know cussing won't help me. So I need to not loose my head about this!!!

I'll be fine, really, I always come through!

Happy Birthday!

It is both my oldest brother's 41st birthday, and Rachel's birthday today.

Yea!

I'll just let you know right now that I did not get you anything this year, sorry. But I am making a cake tonight and I'm sure the boys would totally understand why we are singing Happy Birthday to people who are not in the room with us. I'm also sure that they won't mind blowing out your candles!

To another year...

In other news....this was the first week without the ex around and I think it went pretty well. The boys are just starting to test me again, trying to see how much they can get away with. But that's ok, I will deal with it.

Chase, Jarrett, Ricky, his friend Timmy, and I went to the beach yesterday. It was dangerous trying to get a parking spot. I finally found one but I don't have a sticker on my car so while the boys got out I was gong to find another spot, the parking police rushed over and was going to write me a ticket. Needless to say I had to move the car and park across the street.

Timmy, Chase and I dug a huge hole in the sand. Then Ricky and Jarrett got buried and Chase threw sand at thier faces. Fun times!

I have a Myspace so I can keep track of my two teenage boys. Well low-and-behold I get a message on there the other day that is from a very dear friend who I have not talked to is a very long time. Doug, is married now and has a cute baby girl and lives in Indiana. I have known him since high school. It has been fun playing catch-up, and his wife is a sweet heart too. She even gave me permision to talk to him!

I was shocked to get a message from somebody so I quickly cleaned up my Myspace page and added some new applications. (Kinda like sweeping through the house when some one drops by.) I think it looks kinda cute now. And most importantly I put my favorite song of all time on there. Go check it out Here.

I have been keeping busy with work and the kids. Had a little problem with some of them going to school but I think we straightened that out. I have also been busy with the Boy Scout Troop Website. You can see that here. I did most of the ground work and Ricky did most of the pictures and figured out how to let people download the monthy newsletter (that I did from scratch) and he shortened the address from something . com at fl backsplash really long name here to troop325.tk. I am really proud of myself. I learned HTML!

I'm trying to adjust. But I am really tired today. This week I have been going to work at 8:30am which means I have to get up at 6am and leave the house by 7:30. Chase is not an early bird by any means and he won't leave the house unless I say he is going to the store (something that Rick did all the time). We get to Mom and Dads around 8 and he cries cause he wants to go home with me. Then I get home between 5:30 and six and cook dinner, do the laundry, and sweep, and pick up toys, and, and, and,... Most nights I don't get to sleep till after 11. I'm tired and it's only been three days. Ugh!
His mother came over last night and told me that if I didn't try to help Rick that he was going to "tell all". Whatever that means...and thats what I told her, is that I have heard it a thousand times like its on a recorder. She acts nice but I know Rick is feeding her garbage. She sticks up for him all the time and she knows how he treats me. Hell, he treats her bad too. She expects me to just brush it off and save her son. She even told me that she told him to move away from me so he won't get into trouble. She asked me to drop the restraining order so he won't go to prison. I told her that my plan was not to get him in trouble but he put himself there. He should have took the high road and kept his mouth shut if he didn't have something nice to say. He was always so negative about everything, except being with me. That was "the" only thing that mattered to him.
In other news, my sister-in-law Rita told me to file for unemployment cause I have only been working part time. So I did and they sent me all the paperwork. I called in my first two weeks on the 8th and then I called today to see where my check is. Well, I have been misled. See they will only pay you if you are actually unemployed. If you make over what they were going to pay you then you don't get anything. That sucks and I told the guy on the phone that it is not fair. He said he understood my problem, that due to the economy I had been reduced from full time to part time but he said that there was nothing that he could do to help me. Shit!

How can a weight be lifted off your shoulders and at the same time a huge cloud looms overhead?

I'll tell you how.

Rick goes to jail = weight lifted.

Rick goes to jail = huge mfing cloud.

See, Rick used to watch the baby while I was at work and did scout stuff. Now Rick is in jail and I don't have a real plan for a backup babysitter.

I am glad I don't have to hear his negative attitude for a long while. He brought this on himself. I am thankful that my kids are smarter than I am. Don't worry it was really an uneventful thing that happened. No hitting or slamming doors.
Simply this...I was cooking dinner and the boys were just home from a weekend camping trip. They were on the computer along with Jarrett's friend Tyler. I could hear some profanity from whatever they were watching and I asked Ricky to either turn it off or use the headphones cause I didn't want the baby to hear it. A few seconds later, Rick comes out of a bedroom and starts yelling at Ricky, telling him he has 2 seconds to turn it off or he will pull the plug. Ricky tells him to back off and then Rick pulls the plug and goes back to whatever he was doing.
Next, I hear Rick asking me who Ricky is on the phone with outside. I tell him we don't have a phone and I peak outside knowing full well who he is talking to. Rick begs me to go out there and stop him. Then he kind of runs around the house trying to figure out what to do and where to go. Finally I tell him that he needs to calm down and figure out what to tell the cops when they get here. He takes off out the door and attempts to hide in the ditch. But he must have seen the police car by then and came out to talk to them. They run his name and find out that there is a no contact order. They take a statement from me and took him to jail.
Ricky says he's happy about what he did. And later that night he came and sat by me and asked me how I felt. I said fine and he said "No, what I mean is, don't you feel more relaxed now that Dads not here."
"Yes!" I do feel so much at ease, even though there will be hard times and things will be more difficult, I still feel like this should have been done a long time ago. I mean he has only been watching Chase since about January. I seems sooo much longer than that. A lifetime.
I can't seem to think a solid thought, sorry. I know I am rambling...

Life is funny. I have been reading other blogs and wondering why nobody is posting, only to realise maybe it's because I have not posted for a week and a half. Duh!

Moving on. I can't tell if my world is going to the dogs or it's just a bad day. Not today in particular, mind you. Today is fine so far. Last night we realised at 10pm that we had not packed for the two boys to go camping and they are leaving right after I get off work today. So we (the two boys and I) did not get to sleep till midnight. I think this weekend I am going to rearange some things in the storage/camping area of my porch. Everything was everywhere and I don't like that!

We survived spring break! Jarrett was at Tyler's and Ricky was home most of the time. He went to Timmy's a couple of days and Lewis' for a day. It was kinda not their choice not to be home cause the car was being crappy, again.
See on Monday the 31st I had to call a tow truck cause the car would not start. So it gets fixed (new starter) on Tuesday (in the pouring rain) and after it was fixed, Rick put some air in the tire cause it was flat and the tire blew out. It was time for a new tire but I had just spent all my extra money on the starter and have no spare. So Dad came everyday to take me to work and pick me up again. Till Thursday, when my Grandma decided that she would buy me a tire. Yay Grandma! Now the car is fixed.

I got my water bill this week. Its twice as much as the first month I was there. I told Rick that he needs to cut back on the water and he agreed. See he has to watch Chase for me and it has been easier for him to do it at my house. I have not paid him anything except for buying him cigarettes. And he fixed my car. I still hate him though. But I try to be civil.

We'll see what happens next month...