I usually do not comment on other blogs cause I really don't think that they give a crap what Heather at tallyho_2022 is thinking. But today I responded to Miss Brit's post titled "the watchers". The reason I started this blog was to edge out my feelings about my situation with my now ex. I completely understand what it must feel like to be a watcher and what it feels like to be the watched. I can assure you that being watched is far worse that watching. Mine was not the typical beat the crap out of you kind of relationship. It was more control and conquer. Now he is pulling at strings. Now he is just waiting for me to mess up. He is hoping I mess up so he can come in and take over again. He tells me I am messing up and if I believe him just once I will fall right back into what I have worked so hard to get out of. I am not a perfect person. I am not mother of the year. I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not... I do however love myself exactly like I am. I love myself. I. love. myself. Its a start.

I went camping this weekend. It was a leader training campout called OLSI. Outdoor leader skills instruction. We had a blast. The weather was great, overcast on Saturday and sunny on Sunday. There were eight of us in the class. Myself (as a troop committee member), Deeann (an asst scoutmaster from my Troop), Edwin (a scoutmaster from Ft myers), Brian (an asst scoutmaster), John (a scoutmaster), Dave (a cubmaster), Lynn (a webelos leader), and Lois (lynns asst webelos leader). We learned a whole heck of a lot of stuff! Cooking, first aid (from a real Dr), map and compass, hiking and backpacking, nature study, lashing, knots, campfire, and meal planning.

Funny thing was that we had a little issue about bananas. Go figure. We had to write out our menu and hand a shopping list to our "senior scoutmaster" so he can go buy our food. Well instead of two "bunches" of bananas he only wrote down two bananas. So all we got was two bananas.
I dont know how bananas keep getting brought up on these campouts. The last time it was on summer camp in NC. Lots of banana talk there. And before that was when my son was a webelos and the Troop took the Webelos to a camporee and there was a mixture of a couple of patrols...they ended up calling themselves the banana patrol.

Weird!

We put on a big campfire and did the skits and songs for it too. The fire was so big that after our skits we had to knock it down a notch. Bad planning on our part. Oh well. We had fun practicing the skits. Our group of eight really bonded well.
There was one time when Brian was late coming to one of the classes...well after that Brian could have been sitting in front of you and you still asked "where's Brian?"
Another thing that was so funny was Lois calling Ken a "senior scoutmaster" as in "old". She got "Senior patrol leader" and "scoutmaster" confused! Everyone loved that (except for Ken).

Anyway, fun was had by all and we learnt alot!

Now I'm really Woodbadge bound!

Tomorrow is Baby's third birthday. I am so excited about it. I am sending him to day care with party hats and blowers and candy and goodie bags. Then when I pick him up I am going camping without any kids. You see there is this Boy Scout training this weekend that I promised DeeAnn that I would go with her. On top of the Birthday thing I am going to miss out on going to the Swamp Buggy Races. I have been going to those since I was knee high to a grasshopper. Ah well, Theres always next year.

Did I tell you all what my Grandma got for Baby? She got him a Red Mustang! He loves it. He cant wait to ride in it every day. She loves that kid to death!

We still have not gotten any holloween costumes yet. I hate waiting for the last minute but I dont have a choice this year. I have a bunch in storege but I cant get to them.. grrrr!

I know, I know, two weeks and no post...

Where have I been you ask. Well I'll tell ya where I have been. I have officially let scouts take over my life. I mean I have given up on myself and let them have me. Lets see I have been to some sort of scout meeting on Monday the 1st,
Wednesday the 3rd,
Thursday the 4th,
Saturday the 5th,
monday the 8th,
Tuesday the 9th,
Thursday the 11th,
Friday the 12th,
Sunday the 14th,
and yesterday, Monday the 15th.
And would you believe that I have another meeting to go to tonight and one on Thursday!

See the Monday meetings are for my two boys - This is when the Troop meets at the church.
Tuesday and Thursday meetings are for the Pack. Tuesdays are for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. Thursdays are for the 1st and 2nd graders. I have to open the church on Thursdays cause they don't have a key yet. I have to go to the Tuesday meetings cause the 4th and 5th graders dont have a leader yet and I need to help them find one. I did Baloo training on one saturday and Scout went to the keys this weekend for a snorkeling campout. (Ferret was supposed to go too but wigged out at the last minute and I had to pick him back up.) moving on...

The Baby turns three this month on the 26th!!!!!

Woot woot woot!

In other news - I am still playing Runescape and I have reached a combat level of 53! I have been doing a new skill called Hunter. I really enjoy training my characterand have gotten to level 32 already for the Hunter skill. Last night I figured out all by myself how to catch a Spined Larupia and turn its fur into clothing. I even impressed my boys cause they have not done it before and they are a much higher level than me. (but not in the Hunter skill). Anyway I was really happy last night that I did it. Next I will catch butterflys and imps then I will try for something called a Horned Graahk! Yay for me!

Yay! She did it!

He picked JES!!! I am so glad that Bret picked her and not that loser Heather. Good job Bret. Team Jes!

Oh, I guess you all know who I was rooting for on Rock of Love now, right? I can't believe he was even considering Heather. She could care less if he was dying, she just wanted to have a good time. Jes is sooo sweet for him.

Anyway, I had such a headache last night I was almost not gonna watch it but I stayed up and am so glad I did. cant wait for the reunion!
edited: I hated the reunion, why in the world did he let Jes go. I will never understand it. I hope they have another season. I would hate to see Bret with Heather.

In other news I was at the mall this weekend with Feret and I ran into a friend of one of my old boy friends. I asked her if he was still around and she said that he got married to Tracy. I had to ask her again "Who"? She said "Tracy".
Just a little background... Ron and I knew each other forever, he went out with a couple of my friends and then we dated and were even engaged. We were together for three and a half years. He left me for Tracy. I was sooo upset that he left me that when he came back to me I kinda lost something that I used to feel for him. I still love him to this day but something was gone... I broke it off with him and went back with the kids dad, Rick. I have not spoken or seen Ron since then. I told Tasha (the friend in the mall) that I miss him. I really believe that we were soul mates but people got in the way. He understood me. And was never mean or hateful to me. I miss him soo much. Don't get me wrong I'm sure we are very different people than we were back then (last seen him in May of 99')(The boys dont even remember him, they were 4 and 5 when we split) and I would never ever break up a married couple. But, that wont keep me from missing him. Is it selfish to wonder if he still thinks about me?