Dear Diary

I don't know what prompted me to look up my old blog today but I can see it has not been updated in quite some time. Let me see if I can fill you all in on what has been going on in my part of the world.

-Jarrett went to summer camp and had a great time.
-Mikey moved out when school ended.
-Ricky had the cops called on him several times for punching holes in the walls, breaking the windshield of my car, punching holes in the walls.
-In August, I started talking to an old boyfriend James for 20 hours a day cause he is an over the road truck driver.
-After three weeks of phone calls he came down to Florida and we got married on September 25th.
-The cops were called again for Ricky and we talked to his Dad and he is supposed to go pick him up and take custody of him.
-On the 13th of October we left Florida without Ricky and headed to North Carolina.
-Within four days we both had jobs and Jarrett started school.
-Chase turned five.
-Ricky is staying with Grandma cause Rick can't take care of him.
-Ricky talked Grandma into changing his school to where Mikey goes and he got arested on the first day for fighting.
-He is currently serving ten day suspention and has court on Nov 23rd.

So thats where I have been. I love being Mrs. James Pifer. He is wonderful and without him I would be sitting in a huge house with no electric and abusive kids.

Life is good!

this is not being edited for punctuation or caps or anything so beg my pardon! I just want to get this writen down cause i dont want to forget the way things went down.
so in my last post i noted that my brother came over to check on me and to make sure ricky would behave the rest of the night, which he did. Kevin told me to just call the police if anything happens again and that they dont do anything anyway that they would just talk to him and leave. all of that is fine with me, i mean all i want is for ricky to be calmed down once he gets into one of his moods.
So the next night, i think thursday, ricky starts bugging jarrett about the x box. he wants to play and wont take no for an answer. well, jarrett was playing and needless to day they started fighting. all of this while i have pink dye in my hair that i just put in and its in a bag on top of my head. so, ricky gets a punch in and i get them separated. meanwhile jarrett comes up behind me and punches ricky. then both boys run outside. after a bit they come back in and are ok for the time being and i take the oportunity to wash out my hair. while im doing that they start up again and i hear jarrett and chase screaming. i run out there and no one answers me when i ask what was wrong. jarrett demands that i call the police so i grab the phone and call. meanwhile jarrett is throwing furniture and ricky is trying to console chase.
the police come and talk to jarrett and ricky separletly and while they are talking to ricky they go in his room and see he has fuck the law on his wall. they take statements from everyone and then ricky gets put in the squad car... i'm like what happened here? they both were fighting, you were just supposed to talk to them. I'm told that someone other than me has to pick him up and that he cant come home for 48 hours, or till he has court. wtf?
So his dad picks him up at 2am and he stays there till i pick him up in the morning for court. guess who his judge is? yeah the same one he has for truency court. he knows ricky has been failing drug tests and not takeing his meds. so we try to figure out where ricky can go for five days till he comes back to court and with no luck. 1. he cant go back to his dads cause of the restraining order and 2. he cant go to my parents house cause a. my grandma is 94 and has hospice coming to the house and b. my mom has so many pain pills hanging around the house that it would be too tempting for ricky to take them and try to sell them or something.
so he ends up staying in jail for five days. i dont think he will ever forgive me for that. seeing that it was me that called the police in the first place and it has gotten him in more troube that he was already in but I have to live with that too. he only called me once in the five days he was in and then he said if i'm still in here by sunday i will never talk to you again. i was pretty hurt by that but i totally see his point. i honestly was going by what kevin had told me, that they dont do anything. that they will just talk to them. in no way was i trying to get my son arrested for battery and domestic violence.
then on tuesday when he had his court he was allowed to come home under my supervision. and he was told to search out some counceling. then on wednesday, yes third time to court in six days, he failed his drug test again and he thought he was going to go back to jail. but no they just reinstated that he seek out counciling and see him in one month.
since then he has gone out without my permission and not done a single chore at the house and still thinks i'm a bitch. im sure this will all work itself out in the end. i mean i love him and i care about him so things have to start looking up in the future.

meanwhile, jarrett is getting ready to go to summer camp in less than two weeks. he finished his personal fitness and his citizenship in the community merit badges and should get those at the june 1st meeting.
i hate that i cant plan a trip for all of us to go somewhere and be a happy little family again. they should make something like that. just go and be at peace with everyone around you. that would be so so so nice. till then...

Where has Heather been? I haven't a clue as usual. We have had good days and we have had bad days thats for sure.
I had a pretty good mothers day, saw Star Trek with Jarrett even though he did not really want to go. He ended up liking it anyway.
Also got in some community service hours with Jarrett last Saturday. The mail men picked up donated for at the mail box and then it all got brought to a central location to be sorted and boxed. Thats where jarrett and I come in. we were sorting and boxing the food as it came in. we got there about 11am and stayed until 1pm then chase was getting tired and kept screaming "take me home" which got people starring so we left but only after agreeing that we would come back later. we went home and got someting to eat and then took chase to grandpa's house. then we went back and stayed another three hours till 7:30pm. So Jarrett got in 5 hours for his citizenship in the community merit badge. He still needs 3 more hours which he wants to do at the humane society.
I went on Monday to fill out an application at a uniform shop. wish me luck.
Right now I am waiting for Ricky to come. His curfew is 9pm on school nights and it is now 10:50pm. He's a little late and I have talked to him but he was not ready to leave yet cause they were watching a movie which he apparently had no idea what the name if the movie was. He has done this several times over the past couple of weeks. it is really anoying. His lack of respect for me is out of control. Last night he blew up about his phone again. My brother had to come over to make sure everything was alright. I wish i knew how to get through to him...

yesterday happy pics and today this...

Ricky was gone all weekend and the rule in the house is I don't do laundry if it's not brought out to the laundry room. When he realizes this morning that he has no clothes that are clean, he pitches a fit and refuses to go. (need I remind you that he has been going to truancy court since last June) He brings out his clothes and they get washed. I leave him to take Jarrett to school and when I get back he tells me he's not going to school and that his "friend" is coming to pick him up. After tirelessly trying to get him to change his mind a car pulls in the driveway. I inform the occupants that he is not allowed to go with them. I ask why they are not in school with mumbled answers they leave with my son anyway. I follow and they end up turning onto a road and pulling over. He proceeds to yell at me and tell me to leave him alone and he's not going to school anyway. I wave the other car goodbye and they leave him in the dust. He makes the baby cry so i too had to leave him there. Hoping the other kids would be smart and stay out of it. I drive into town and gas up. While there I see they are not smart at all. They picked him up. I went to the school to inform them of what happened and now I am sitting here realizing that it's fucking 420 and that is why he has done this. I know I may be considered a hypocrite and I'm ok with that. But I hate that drugs have made me not trust another person. I most definitely (and probably naively) blame pot for his problems. He stopped taking his anti-depressants and started smoking. When a mother spends 15 years raising a person, only to have some kid influence him in a negative way, it hurts. I am competing with ppl half my age and that are way freaking cooler than I ever was in school. I am outnumbered and I have lost this battle today...But I am not quitting this shit just yet. I know he has good in him. 4 fucking 20! Yeah, not a fan, sorry.

My nephew, Joey came over today to play with Chase. I don't know why Chase is only wearing underwear and cowboy boots but they seemed to be having fun doing stunts in the mustang.


They also thought the hammock was a sinking ship.


Jarrett, Chase and I went to visit my brother Kevin at his fire station. Here is Jarrett all decked out and ready to jump on the fire truck.


They even had a smaller uniform for Chase. Although he thought it was cool at first, when Uncle Kevin suggested we get some pictures inside the truck he immediately thought is was stupid and wanted out of it. Then later he was in the back seat and Uncle Kevin jumped into the front, Chase demanded that he don't take him anywhere. He must have thought he was not experienced enough to do the job.


I like to make things that are somewhat made already. I mean like I like when I can see the final product and work toward that. So I spotted this bag at wal-mart that came with iron on stuff. I thought that was perfect for me to do. So here is the front of my bag.


And this is what I put on the back. Its the start of my favorite song in the whole world...God I sound like I'm 12 years old. But I can bet you that If you ever say these words to me I will smile and start to bob my head and sing the rest of the song right then. FYI it's blister in the sun by the violent femmes. Just a coincedence, I was watching some movie previews and I heard my song. Turns out that the movie Rocket Science uses it and another favorite; kiss off. I tried to watch it on the computer, but the vidio thing is not working, so then I went to the library. They have it but when I tried to check it out they told me I owe $66.00 in fees cause they had to replace four movies that I checked out in December of 07. So finally I went to Hollywood video and just rented the darn thing. I also rented Juno. Both are good. Juno had me crying like a baby and Rocket Science had me singing. God I really need help ;)


This is what dinner looks like at my house. The green stuff is spinich. I like it but the boys don't.


This is my Dad posing with the Easter cake.


And here is Chase posing with the Easter cake...Ya know, maybe I should buy him some clothes or something. He's going to have a hard time when he goes to school and has to keep them on for more that an hour.

So thats some of the stuff I've been doing.

Happy Easter everyone!

FYI...The spider was put to death by shoe.

Last week my Mom invited me and the boys over for Easter. Then she calls me on Friday and lets me know that plans have changed and that I will be doing lunch at my house and only Dad will be coming. Someone has to stay with Grandma and mom doesn't drive anymore so dad is coming. But I needed to come over on Saturday morning to take Mom shopping for food and stuff for baskets. I loved the idea of getting Mom out of the house so I agreed.
So I go out to Moms on Saturday morning and we head out to the craft store Joann's. Mom hangs out in the scrap booking section while I wonder over to the fabrics and get some backing fabric for a project that I want to start on. Next we head over to Party city to find almost nothing left for Easter. I did find an egg tray and a hat for Chase. After that we get some lunch at Arby's and then Mom says she is finished for the day. We were supposed to go to Wal-Mart but I ended up going solo.
I finally finish all my shopping and I head for home at about 4pm. When I got home I hunted for the Easter baskets everywhere. I did finally find them after I remembered I was going to sell them in my yard sale. So I got the baskets all made up and the 120 plastic eggs all filled with candy and put away on top of the fridge.
Jarrett finds his way home and I go round up the other two boys and we end up watching a movie before going to bed. About 3am I woke up and hid the baskets. At 9am Chase wakes up and he finds his basket and he gets the other two boys to find theirs. We then colored five dozen eggs and I start working on getting lunch ready while cleaning up after Chase. I so wish he would not touch and move everything in sight.
Dad comes over and I put him to work on cutting the ham. We had a great lunch and even had cake for desert. I showed him my new toy, the DSi, and we had fun taking pictures with it. It has a feature that lets you know if you're related to the other person. Ricky and I are like 23% related, siblings. Jarrett and I are 12% cousins. Dad and I are 1% and unrelated. I always thought I was adopted, lol. Anyway its fun to play with.
So Dad heads home and the boys are nagging me to take them to gamestop. So we head out and back and thats when I came to the conclusion that someone forgot to hide the plastic eggs for chase to find. Darn it.

Maybe tomorrow...

OMG, this morning Ricky comes running out of the bathroom and calling for me. I ask him whats the matter and he tells me there is a huge spider in the shower. So I look and the thing is the size of my hand, huge! He goes to get a shoe but by the time he gets back the thing hides in the closet where the towels are. That closet is behind the door so you can't even get to it without going into the bathroom. Ugh, what am I going to do?

My washing machine had broken down and would not drain the water about two weeks ago. I had thankfully done the last of the clothes before that happened so I was set for the week. I had the boys take the hoses off and see if there was something stuck but we didn't find anything. So last weekend Jarrett went with me and we did the laundry at the mat. Finally on Friday I called around to see when someone could come out. Sears said in 10 days. Whoa! So I called some other random company and he said he won't come out my way but he knows of another guy who lives out here that could help. Sure enough that guy came out on Friday afternoon and it turns out that there was one of Chase's little socks stuck in the pump. He charged me $75 to pull out a sock but I'm not complaining. I was able to do all my laundry last night and fold it today so we are good again!

Chase and I went to the beach last week. It's a beach called Clam Pass. It's owned by parks and recreation but there is a huge hotel right by it and they provide golf cart rides down the mile or so of boardwalk. The hotel also rents out boats and has a cafe and restrooms right near the beach.
So Chase is playing in the water and we walk down to the pass, where the fresh water empties into the gulf. I was only wearing my one piece bathing suit and beach shoes cause we were in the water most of the time.
Chase decides he needs to use the bathroom and so we head up that way. Noone was in line and we got right in so Chase is in one stall and I'm in the other cause I can't go near a bathroom with out having to pee. I soon realise that there are girls outside waiting and I hear that Chase is done. So What does he do, he peeks under my door and tells the lady waiting in line that his mommy does not have any clothes on and is going potty.
Nice. I mean for the most part I was covered up, even though it was a one piece down to my knees, I had pulled the bust part up to cover myself, but when he said that I realised that the cracks inbetween the walls and door of the stall I was in were very wide to say the least. OK now picture this: fat woman in little bathroom stall pulling up a wet bathing suit and trying to be descrete and hurry at the same time cause the girls outside are engaging in embarassing conversation with four year old son. I'll get over it I'm sure.

So today you got spider, wahing machine and beach. Nice mix I think!

What is wrong with me lately? I have tried to post like every day but something keeps me from doing it. (Like a phone call, a misbehaving kid or something like that. Not like an evil force field around the computer...errr maybe...nah!)

Anyhow...whats going on these days? I would love to tell you that every thing is going great but that would be a lie. I mean, don't take that the wrong way 'cause like everyone is OK and all but there is something going amiss and until it is figured out and dealt with then there will continue to be the slight problems that we have been having. Clear as mud, right? Right!

On to other news... Chase has been saying "O God!" lately. as in when he gets frustrated with a game or a toy. I don't know where he picked that up at cause none of us bigger people say that.

I have some beach pictures I wanted to post but thats for another day cause Chase keeps asking me to play with him and I just can't resist...

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          )     `-------/ /
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         `-'\  ,---\   | \
            _) )    `. \ /
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So what's going on?

My Grandma, who will be 94 at the end of March, is
still in the retirement home.  She was at home and
my Parents were taking care of her.  Then she kept
falling. So my parents called hospice and they were
coming to the house. Well she was getting up one
morning and she fell again and complained that her leg
hurt.  So she went to the hospital and they had to
do surgery.  She was then sent to the retirement
home and she is doing therapy there.  I have been
trying to go see her when I get the chance.  Chase
and I went yesterday and she wants to go home sooo
bad.  She even offered to pay me to take care of her
so she can go home.  I sooo wish that that was an
option for her. I pray for her every day that she
can just be happy where she is so she can get better.
I love her so much.  She is the strongest woman that
I know.  She won't take any shit from anyone!  I'm sure
the nurses are figuring that out too!  I wish for a
magic fairy wand so that I can grant her wishes.  In
the meantime I will just keep visiting her and spending
time with her and keeping her company when I can.

We blew up the car!

Ok, I know I have been taking my sweet ass time on posting on this blog. And I know also that it is soooo annoying to check someones blog everyday just to see the same thing everyday for like two weeks. And I have no excuses cause like I am not employed and I am on the computer like all the time. I have been looking up jobs and checking e-mail and playing Runescape...(lvl 86 thank you, and I bought my first whip! WOOT!) Anyway things are still going on and life is still turning. Ricky has been put on zoloft for depression and I love what its doing for him. OMG he is the sweetest boy ever! He is still going to court for truency but he hasn't missed school in over two months. He also has not gotten any referals. Yay! The judge wants him to bring up his grades though, so do I. Ok, now for the big explosion we had...

So I had to get a different car. I say different cause its not new and not even newer than the one I had. The station wagon was having problems with the transmission and it left me stranded one day. So I needed a different car. I found one for $300.00 and bought it. So now I am driving a Pathfinder. I know you want to hear about the explosion, right? I'm geting to that!
The wagon was sitting in the driveway with no tag on it and I wanted to move it to a different spot in the driveway so I would not have to park behind it all the time. It was decided that we were going to junk it anyway so we took it out back to do some doughnuts and figure eights. Well, the car got a little hot and caught some pine needles on fire and we could not get it out. I ran into the house and called my brother cause he's a fireman at the station up the street. They came and put out the fire and here is what the car looks like now...




I know, it looks so horrible. But everyone is safe and no houses were in danger.
The next day (Wednesday) I went to clean a house for my friend Angie cause she just had a baby and when Chase and I got home we see the smoke and fire are back. The fire had restarted and I called my brother again and he called the station and they came back out again. This time it burned a little bit further and they ended up bringing out a dozer to circle the spot where the fire was. I'm almost positive that it won't light up again, but I am keeping an eye on it.

So what have you been up to lately?

I have pictures!

So here is Chase in the car. I think I'm at a stop light!???




This is Jarrett on Christmas morning. He just opened his new water bottle for camping. He just got to use it this weekend when he went to the camporee with scouts. Ricky and him thought it was a great event and Jarrett got tapped out for OA so thats cool.



This is Chase on Christmas morning.



Oh, here's the tree on Christmas morning.



Now I will show you some of the things I do to keep busy. Please know that I do not consider myself artistic or creative in any way. I just like to make things.

So first we have Chase's changing table that My Dad and I built while I was pregnant with him.
(and by him I mean Chase, not my Dad.) It used to be white with some zoo=y type stick-ons. Now I have repainted it yellow and green and painted a scene on the inside. So here's the back wall...



And here's where he plays with micro machines. It has two parking lots (told you I'm not artistic) and a long curvy loop of a road. He LOVES this thing.



Ok, now we have a bag that I made for chase. He picked out the fabric at the craft store and I used the same pattern as the brown bag below.



This was the first of my sewing items to make. It came printed on a yard of canvas type material. So I just had to cut out the pattern and follow the instructions. However on the pirate one for Chase (above) I had to change things around a little cause the pirates would have been sideways.!



This train bank came as a kit from the scout shop. Chase and I worked together on this one but I ended up doing the final paint job.



My Turkey. God I love this thing. I can not believe that I made this. Again it was cut out the pattern and add some batting and rocks (for weight) and follow the instructions. I want to make another one! But I feel kinda funny with two birds.



This is Betty, my sewing machine. Lucy (My ex-mother-in-law i guess) gave this to me. Not that it is a hand me down or anything...her husband found it in the dumpster where he works and they asked if I wanted it. Took me a while to figure her out but Betty and I are good friends now. (although that bitch could have told me that I put in the wrong needle when two of them broke today) (and by bitch I mean Betty the sewing machine, not Lucy).



This weekend I went to the craft store and was browsing the books when I see a book about roving wool or something. I kinda scan through it and thought wow that's neat, whatever it is. Well I paid for the items I had and then asked the lady at the counter where they kept the wool for felting stuff. I had no idea what I was talking about but apparently she did and she pointed me back toward the yarns and wool. A couple of bucks later I was able to make this... (its a cat not a squirel)



And this butterfly...Well anyway you take wool, felt and a special pin and fuse the two fabrics together so there is no glue or sewing. I attempted to make Chase a monkey but it looks more like a black voo doo doll right now.



And finally I made this apron. I was so excited that I made a flounce that I was singing that word all morning. Its quite a funny word if you ask me.

She looks great in my kitchen doesn't she?



I look just like her huh? ROFLMAO! See the flounce at the bottom?

Ok thats enough for now...

I can see in that last picture that Chase has left the milk out so I better get.

Oh and see the ice cream container on top of the fridge? That has a real snake in it. The boys caught it outside the other day. I think I will have them let it go this afternoon.

Wow where has the time gone? I haven't a clue.

We had a nice visit with my brother Kevin and his wonderful family on Christmas eve at his house. In past years the kids were always excited to go to Kevins for christmas eve cause there were always plenty of presents for everyone. This year it was decided that there would be no gift exchanges. Most of the kids are over 13 and know why that tradition has come to a stop. Even the two youngest boys in the family (who are my Chase at 4 years old and Kevin's son Joey at five) had a great time at the party anyway. Joey picked out a puzzle for Chase and Chase could not wait to give Joey his present. I did make candy baskets for all the kids though. And Kevin and Rita gave my boys some cash. I guess we are finding it hard to break tradition. lol

New years was busy because of taking down christmas decorations and such. But I slept through the actual event cause the boys put on a movie and wern't watching the time. 5 minutes after 12 we had our own little countdown from 10 even though Ricky thought it was dumb. I gave the boys a new years kiss and went to bed.

The fish named Little that Chase got at the snow fest has since past on to greener pastures, errr maybe bluer waters? He was a trooper non the less. Chase always "dumped" food in his bowl and I think the changing of water every other day was too much stress. Chase loved that fish named Little, he really did!

My car is almost not drivable. There is something seriously wrong with the transmission. At times the car is fine but mostly it will not go over 35 miles per hour. Which has become a problem since the closest store is 15 minutes away. I need to get it looked at soon but I am waiting for some money to come in first.

Some brighter news is that I have not talked to the ex for several months and I think it has had a very positive effect on my future outlook. I love not listening to him and his opinions!

Just checked to see if any new pis are on the camera but there are none so I spared you that much at least! lol